Random Thoughts

   I have been in theater for most of my life. I don’t truly count those beginning steps, but I do recognize their importance. My first performance was a lie I performed, I simply said I had brushed my teeth when I truly hadn’t. I learned that Shakespeare’s quote “ life is a play” was true. Everything can be an act, if you try hard enough. With that I realized that I loved theatre and as part of that, I began to practice theatre in many different forms.

I first started with friends, just taking roles each and playing make believe. But with that came the art of lying even further. soon enough I discovered the fact that the best part of acting was that it was lying, according to premade script, without any repercussions of lying. I loved it.

Soon I involved myself with any form of theatre I could find. I enrolled in musicals, improv camps even charity services. I loved lying. It was more than an art, it was a lifestyle. It wasn’t a drug, it was not obsession it was no fad. it was a series of choices that every time I chose to lie id be digging myself deeper. Even today I lie. I can’t stop. For it is theatre. Theatre is the art of being able to assume an entire new series of facts and ideals and even a new personality. Without that id be nothing I am today. I am smiling as I write this because I know now I know what I am. I am an actor. I love it. my life is an act, it is nothing more than a series of lies I've dug myself into. now there is no escape because I love it too much. I am sure these are the drunken ravings of a mad man but tis the truth. I am nothing more than a lie. I hide my emotions. nothing affects me, today I saw a man’s life escape before me and I didn’t bat an eye. because this is all a play to me. nothing can change that. 

I see life as one massive play. we are all players, bound to our parts. I hate my part. I find it so dull and meaningless. I find that feeling of being locked into one storyline impossible. No one knows me, no one knows my story line. they know the one I’ve given them, and each person sees a different one. they only see the script I’ve given them. each version of my life has a different script, with different lines, different actors and different plot styles. the only common ideal is the author, me.

I want to write my play and because I’ve rewritten it so many times I will never be able to do that. there are too many scripts to erase. some call me a chronic liar, others call me shameless and others call me full of shit. But I am a writer. a Playwright, a playwright of my life. All I ask is for the ability to publish my piece without question.

Response to a Quote

“Where the hands go to present an action, there must go the eyes, where the eyes go, there must go the mind” - Kathakali quote. 

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     Kathkali is an art form, that originates in the Kerala Province of India. It is one of the more modern theater techniques to arise, and is from around the 16th century. The entire theater form is based on hand gestures and facial expressions. One famous quote is, “Where the hands go to present an action, there must go the eyes, where the eyes go, there must go the mind”, and it aptly describes the most key part of kathakali, and that his the energy that one performs it with. actors train for over a decade just to be allowed on stage, and traditional performances last for over twelve hours. the quote explains how the hands explain the actions in kathakali, along with the eye movements and all this must be done with spirit and enthusiasm or the performance isn't true.

     On a more personal note I believe that this quote serves for all other aspects of life as well. Because in kathakali the main method of expression is the hands. the quote says to express yourself, and when you do so, look forward and do so with enthusiasm. No action or venture is not worth it if it isn't attended with full enthusiasm and full attention.

     One great example is when I was in the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. The only reason I succeeded in my role wa because I gave it my entire effort, almost to the extent where I failed classes. the whole reason the play went so well was because I gave my full effort and entire attention. Which attests tot he quote, that you must go with your hands, or not as all.

The End

I cannot believe it's over. Just wow!

I am amazingly blown away by how well everything came together, here are my thoughts on the different nights;

Night One

As an Actor: 

things were hectic, we had had an actor fall ill and were rushing to have a replacement learn the lines. but other than that things went well, befor the curtain opened. Once the curtain opened we were fine, a couple of time actors forgot their lines, myself included, but we improvised and moved along, it was a good night to get out the jitters, as the theater was only half full.

As a Stage Manager: 

things were uncertain, we hadn't shown the lights to the directors yet and most of our crucial staff had never done that job before. but we just hoped for the best. As the show went on, things got better, though because the sound and lights were on the same circuit, the lights started to flicker and we recieved a slight static in the sound devices.  the night went well and we closed curtain like a charm.

Night Two:

As an Actor: 

again we had the same member sick, but his replacement from the night before was ready and we stayed play on. Right before the play began, I carried on my tradition of standing in the middle of the stage and saying "MacBeth". the curtain opened, no one forgot their lines and the night went awesomely. 

As a Stage Manager:

After my ritual of saying MacBeth on stage, we brought the lights up and the show began. We had worked out the light and sound issue from the previous night out and the night went swimmingly. It was perfect, we fluctuated lights with the music, used different colors to set the mood and most importantly, made the scenes transition perfectly.

All in all I'm happy we succeeded and that I was able to provide a key role. Next year should be even better!